Finding balance in a world of extremes
Good and bad.
Pretty or ugly.
Left or right.
Republican or Democrat.
All or nothing.
Male or female.
It’s exhausting.
The extremes
The world expects us to pick only one word to define us, and scoffs when we “see both sides” or live in the middle. The term “non-binary” is so foreign to those of us who have always lived by fitting in the same box as our peers and not upsetting the status quo.
We even do this to ourselves:
Sugar is bad.
Carbs are bad.
Going to bed on time is good.
Working hard is good.
Skipping chores is bad.
I did this with food for years. First, it was the easy transition: Kale is good, fried foods are bad. Fast forward a few months. I got more comfortable with the basics, then I’d break down the “good” category even more. “Are roasted almonds good almonds?”
As Marcel the Shell would say: Compared to what?
The Balance
When we add an ambiguous, subjective morality to these actions or objects, we are assigning a score to the decisions. We then become scorekeepers of ourselves and the people around us.
“If I eat a carb and that’s bad, I need to suffer the punishment of a good three mile run to even it out.”
“If she doesn’t come to my party, then I shouldn’t have gone to hers.”
This if-then gambling we do with ourselves is a symptom of not finding balance within ourselves. ❤
Balance isn’t the lack of committing to either extreme, believing each 50% equally. Life doesn’t work like this, and please don’t force yourself into this even-Stevens approach!
Balance means you don’t spend your energy avoiding the other side. And that you don’t spend energy shaming yourself for where you are
Balance is the wisdom to recognize the extremes and find what’s right FOR YOU… not just what’s “right.”
Deciding for Yourself
Balance feels like space: Space for compassion towards those in the other extreme, room to express yourself confidently and creatively, and comfort that when you start to tip the scale into over- or under-doing it that you’ll peter out soon.
· What extremes are currently in your life?
· Is there room for compassion to yourself or others who are imbalanced?
· What does being in balance mean for you?
Enjoy the self-reflection, and remember: Only you know what works. ❤
